The Definition of Denial
by SilverScreech
Summary: Iggy tries to convince himself he's not falling for Nudge... And fails miserably. Niggy.
1. What the Heck?

Chapter One: What the heck?

It's way too early for life to be this painful. I'm pretty sure there's a law someplace, somewhere the explicitly restricts the amount of pain a person under the legal age of adulthood can receive before six A.M.

Well maybe not, but there should.

Well I suppose besides being attacked in the middle of the night by giant flying robots of death, flying in the freezing cold until our muscles almost literally froze solid, and then listening for the last hour to Gasman drone on about some electronic trinket that we will inevitably blow up that for some reason I just can't muster the energy to care about, it wasn't that bad.

Still if Fang doesn't shut up about "battle plans" soon, I'm going to kill him. It's actually a serious possibility. I'm fairly smart, I'm sure I can come up with something convincing-looking.

"Iggy have you heard a single word I've said?" Fang asked.

Torture. Drowning. Maybe poison or something equally untraceable.

"Um… yes?" I answer, trying to make it sound fairly convincing.

I can practically feel Fang roll his eyes.

Suddenly likely the torture plan the best.

"Anyway, now that _somebody _is paying attention," Max swoops down from her post about ten feet up in the sky. What is this, pick on the blind pyro genius day? "I have something to add." Max finishes. Fang inhales as she moves, so I know she's pulled up next to him. A small sigh escapes his lips as her smell, peaches and cinnamon, hits him. The sigh, untraceable to even most avian ears, gives away his longing, the depth of feeling he has for her.

I feel like vomiting.

Fang really isn't one to talk about irritating things, with him all lovey-dovey over our fearless leader.

What sort of irritating things has he been talking about you ask?

Well, they largely revolve around (completely unfounded) claims that I cannot stay alone around Nudge for more the five seconds without (a) stuttering hopelessly like a retarded five year old (b) developing an acute relationship with the floor (c) turning tail and running like a useless coward.

He's totally grabbing at straws though. Because I am not a coward. I do not trip or stutter. I am cool, calm and collected at all times. Most importantly, I do NOT like Nudge.

Do not. Do not. Do not. Do N-O-T NOT!!!

_Do so._

I ever avoid her or am upset by her presence in any situation in any way.

_Whatever you say Mr. Denial._

Fang doesn't know what he's talking about.

_Sure he doesn't._

Besides she's… Nudge! Of course I don't like her.

_She's loving, witty, and understands and accepts us for what we are without a second thought. I don't think she even registers consciously that we're blind. If you aren't madly in love with her yet you're insane._

I'm sorry; I don't remember asking for your opinion? When did that occur?

What, no response? Good. Shut up.

Besides, I'm dating Ella. E-L-L-A. Ella Martinez. The gorgeous and lushly beautiful Martinez.

_You can't see. How do you know she's even fairly pretty?_

Um… I just do okay!

_Oh okay, it's not like you've imagined a pretend girlfriend in the image of Ella so you can get your mind away from one-true-love-Nudge or anything._

She's not my true love! I don't love her! In fact, I barely even like her!

_Sure._

I don't!

She's not even that fun to talk to.

_She's hilarious, perfect._

She's just another girl, like Max or Angel. My sister.

Sister. Sister. Sister.

_Whatever, oh look! Speaking of sisters…_

Angel and Nudge join our little pow-wow, having raced each other to a tree and back or something. I'd been arguing with Fang when they left and hadn't really noticed why.

Max is droning on still about something or other that I don't care about.

She's still droning when Nudge swoops down underneath Fang and Max to fly next to me, disturbing air about her.

She's still droning when Nudge flaps her wings hard to pull up a bit, higher than me but lower then Gasman.

She's even still droning when the metallic-smelling object in her hand breaks with an audible snap.

In fact the sound is so audible, so obvious I almost miss the whispers. The three words that chill me to the bone, even though they were whispered so low even she probably hasn't realized they came out. So low no one but me with my super-super-hearing catch.

"Crap, stupid Iggy."

Suddenly, Max's droning becomes much less annoying. In fact, I'm not sure Max and the others actually exist or were just figments of my mind for the last dozen year. I'm not sure, and I don't care.

She makes some witty joke about not knowing her own strength and shoves the metal shards in her pocket. I'm zeroed in on her voice, because just then she was thinking about me. Which means she cares right? She's noticing me, although apparently I've done something to tick her off. What could it be? I have to fix what's bothering her right now.

_Yeah that's not a sign of LOVE or anything. You're obviously just brotherly concerned._

Ignoring that.

A sharp hiss echoes through the air and I realize it's Nudge.

I'm half-way to her before I realize she just spilled hot chocolate on herself. Angel brought a thermos of it up with us. Nudge is fine. Though still annoyed with me. Why? What did I do?

So wrapped up in my own little world I barely notice when we land.

Notice when Fang grabs my arm and yanks me back away from the others. Notice when he begins to tease me in a low whisper about "rushing to Nudge's aid".

I snark, I retort, I generally banter back. Though I'm obviously unnerved. That has nothing to do with nudge though. Nothing at-

"Oh yeah? Prove it."

I freeze. "What are we, eight? Since when did I need to disprove your ridiculous _theory _in order to get some peace and quiet?"

_Ridiculous my-_

"Fine. Keep living in your denial-land. At least I had the guts to do something about my situation; I went after what I wanted. I was a man. But I suppose a _coward _like you couldn't understand that. After all you can't even talk to Nudge."

WHAT?!

"Fine." I say.

Fang's step picks up; I can feel his face lifting hopefully with his posture. "Fine, what?"

"Fine, I'll talk to her, But only to get you off my back. Not because I have any feelings toward her whatsoever."

Fan doesn't say anything, but I can picture the smirk just fine as I stalk off into the woods in the direction I heard Nudge heading five minutes ago.

AN: Just to let you all know, this is a companion piece to my other Niggy fic, The Meaning of Denial. They can be read in either order, but like Meaning more than Definition so far.

I know Fang's a little OCC, but I'm thinking that around Max he's strong and silent and that's all we see, but what if he had a normal guy side that liked to abuse his same-age guy friend. I think this is totally a possible development in his character since we only ever see him from Max's pov and he's in love with her, so he's going to be strong for her and put on an impressive face and stuff. That, plus I needed a "mettling old granny" character for this fic. Angel got the job in Meaning, so now it's Fang's turn.

Anyway, I'm not sure I like this fic at all. Iggy's not really my thing, I don't write from his pov… well ever. Except the occasional drabble. If he's really OCC please tell me. I'm trying to keep in character while still fleshing him out into something I can deal with. I don't want a puffy, romantic Iggy nor a woe-is-me-I-am-blind Iggy. Iggy's a little whiney, a little silly, a lot annoying at times and a lot sarcastic and a bit sexist even. I imagine him egotistical and immature and rather self-absorbed.

Anyway, I don't usually ask for reviews. In fact I don't think I ever have and this is my 20th fic! (Random happy dance; I've posted twenty fics! YAY! I have no life!). But I'm really nervous about whether or not Iggy appears OCC. If you've read Meaning, I REALLY want to know if you think he's funny at all or whether I'm fighting a losing battle trying to be amusing through extensive sarcasm.

Byez for now!-S.S.


	2. I Am So Confused

Chapter 2:

Nudge really isn't very hard to find. And she seems very distracted. Is it whatever I've one to tick her off?

"Um, Nudge?" She blinks. Well it's something.

"Yeah, I just wanted to ask you, um, about that thing you did on the raid? You know with your power? I was wondering-"

I blather on in this vein for several minutes as Nudge waits patiently for me to finish. Ha, take that Fang.

_Your really, really sad, you know that?_

Shut up.

"I really need to take a shower. Maybe you'd like to join-"

Blink. Blood drains from face.

_WHAT?_

Did she just ask me to _shower_ with her?

Couldn't have said what I think she just said, no not at all possible. The very notion is more absurd.

_Right, it's not like we just heard it with our own ears. It's not like she's stuttering or obviously in love with us or anything._

I thought I told you to shut up.

"What did you just say?" I ask her.

She's starts coughing violently.

Oh. She didn't get to finish her sentence. That's about what I figured.

_Yep, that's not the oldest trick in the book._

Wait.

Hold it.

She's started coughing violently!

Quick! Panic!

Thump her on the back until her airway is clear!

_Her airway was clear before! She was faking! She likes you! Sheesh, it's like talking to a brick wall._

After a few seconds, realize I'm probably doing more harm than good and stop.

_Fabulous, it's like I'm not even here._

She's gasping. Brain is too busy still being wrapped around the puzzlement-

_You mean disappointment?_

about her last unfinished statement.

She's breathing, she's had long enough to recover, must squash curiosity.

"Now what were you saying?"

Cue uncomfortable silence.

"I was saying that I really need to take a shower-"

Let's not think about that imagery right there, ok?

_What, you're acknowledging me now? You know we share the same head; you can't just ignore me forever. _

Hey, let a boy dream.

"Maybe you'd like to join me-"

Blink. Blink.

Join her? Did I hear correctly?

_No, your ears are broken and you're going to die a slow literally senseless death. Congratulations, failure of de Nile. _

"…And go into town afterward, if you can hold off eating that long. I really don't feel like ninety-nine cent hotdogs again."

Oh. Lunch. Of course. Yes. Ahem. Hotdogs. Yes.

Was that the hint of a giggle I just heard? Is she _amused_ that I'm sputtering?

You're imagining things, she is **not** flirting with you. You have Ella, remember?

_I'm not even going to gift that with a rebuttal. _

"Yes. Yes. Fine. Fine. Food. Later. Yes."

A/N: So… I have no excuse. I'm lazy and stopped caring. But I'm back! I will update about twice a week until this is finished. I'm keeping a schedule for updates on my profile to force myself to finish on time. Feel free to check that out as you like. I'm planning to leave MR fandom for a good long while, so I need to finish my three outstanding stories. I'm moving to Victorious fandom if any of ya'll want to look for me there. I first fic goes up Friday! Wish me luck, S.S.


	3. In Which Iggy Eats and Not Much Else

How long exactly does it take a girl to shower? I'm beginning to wonder.

_That's not all you're wondering, is it?_

Right. I'm also starting to wonder when exactly I began exhibiting symptoms of schizophrenia. My inner voice of reason has never been quite so vocal as it had been in the last couple of months.

_You mean since you started noticing Nudge was a chick?_

Ugh, I'll never going to be able to look Ella straight in the eye again, and now I'm hearing voices. Just great.

I'll go mad if I stay here much longer waiting for her to show up. Fine. So, I'll go back to camp. Grab something to do. Then come back.

UGH! How can my siblings possibly stand to be so unorganized? I can't find a thing in these packs. I just want one of the books Dr. Martinez packed for me. The brallie ones. But no such luck, what is that squishy thing?

Note to self, plead with Max to allow the purchase of a dancing monkey and teach it how to pack, as it would, no doubt, do a better job.

Here it is. Tucked under someone's left over-

Never mind. I _don't_ want to know what that is.

Read two lines. Take a step. Read. Take a step. Read. Step.

Restaurant. There she is. With, Angel? Wha-

Wait. It's Angel. Best not to ask unnecessary questions.

She's gone by the time I've made it to sit down anyway.

Nudge is flustered. I can tell. I can always tell.

_Too bad she isn't flustered over __**you**_.

Right. There's probably some really hot waiter wondering about. In fact the one I passed on the way in had an Italian accent. Just my luck.

Right. Down to business then. Talking about our latest mission-

She's seemed to have stopped breathing. Resist urge to wave hand in front of her face or check her pulse to make sure she's still a member of the living.

Ask if she's alright.

Oops. Did I knock that glass over, or did she? What did she-

Oh. Of course. She wants to go change before we have to leave. Yes. Right. Should get back to camp myself.

A/N: yeah… this sucks. I promise the next one will be better. I've had a rough day. 3


	4. Defining Insanity

I hate dirt. Makes for an awful mattress. Should sue mother nature.

This inability to sleep has nothing to do with jitters about tomorrow's mission. None. Whatsoever.

I mean, what do I have to be worried about? It's a routine thing. Check the area for mutants, killer robots and/or general strangeness. We probably won't find anything. No need for nerves.

_Except that Fang will probably convince Max to have you patrol with Nudge. _

He wouldn't dare.

_Oh really? You're certain?_

Of course not! I talked to her today didn't I? I proved myself the stronger man.

_Are you saying that you think Fang has GIVEN UP?_

… crap.

But still a rematch would involve being around me right? Why would he send me off alone with Nudge?

_Because he's a sadist who loves to watch you suffer._

I hate my life.

_Me too, though for entirely different reasons. Like the distinct lack of warmth on this ground…_

Shut up.

_I bet it REALLY warm over there by Nu-_

I said SHUT UP!

Ugh, why can't I go t sleep? Ground feels more uncomfortable then normal.

Toss.

Turn.

UGH!

I miss the roof at Dr. M's.

Roof's are nice. Cozy.

_Separate from Nudge?_

Roll over.

Sigh.

I guess so. I mean there's nothing wrong with liking having her around right? She's like a… a…

_A true and everlasting love?_

FRIEND, okay? She's like a friend? People like having their friends around… right?

_Fang certainly thinks there's more there._

Well there's NOT okay? Besides, if Fang thinks I like Nudge then that's HIS perspective. Which makes it HIS probl-

Sit up violently.

Blink.

That's IT! This isn't _my _problem; it's a fabrication of Fang's sick, twisted brain projected onto my unfortunately impressionable psyche. Nothing more.

_I think we have officially left the realm of defining denial to focus on defining insanity._

That is YOUR opinion and therefore NOT my problem.

Haha.

I'm going to sleep now.

I knew it was all Fang's fault.

Somehow.


End file.
